July 2009
16 posts
2 tags
Ummm... Guys?
Rocco:
How can Meatwad be hanging in the sewers if he is actually busy hanging out with me?
1 tag
Behemey
Behemoth:
It’sa beautiful night
2 tags
4 tags
2 tags
Moar Puke
Berlin:
Um, today I was heaving, about to puke in the living room while I was watching t.v, and so Christi put this bowl in front of me so I’d puke into it, cuz she thinks her shag rug is hot shit, and I puked up all these stinking leaves and wood chips into the bowl (that she had just finished eating popcorn from) and… and it was awesome.
1 tag
Frogger
Millie:
Guess what guys? Ima frog!
2 tags
1 tag
Heazle Fierce
Henry (aka Heazle Fierce):
What, Bitch?
1 tag
99 Problemz
Rocco:
…Got 99 problems, but a bitch ain’t one.
1 tag
Totally Not Scared
Berlin:
Um… yah… I’m like, totally NOT scared of those Moon Traveller firework things…
1 tag
Moon Travellers
Rocco:
Ready for take off, biitch.
2 tags
Summer
Luckstar:
Party.
I
Avery:
Hey Lucky…
3 tags
Meatwad!
Luckstar:
Don’t be scared… it’s just Meatwad hanging out in the sewer!
1 tag
Take a Look... I'm in a Book
Avery:
Guess what?! There’s a book about me, it’s called The Poky Little Puppy…!
What does “poky” mean?
Oh well.. Chris read it to me and it was so cute, but sad at the ending!
June 2009
32 posts
2 tags
2 tags
Holy Shit!
Berlin:
Um, last night I was asleep in Christi’s room, and this crazy noise happened outside, and it was cuz a truck crashed into the house across the street! This.. this guy, he was going 90 mph down our street, and he lost control, and then the badass tree in our neighbor’s yard was like, “FUCK YOU- TRUCK!!!”, and it like, stopped the truck! And then the truck spun until...
2 tags
Awesomeness
Berlin:
Um, today, I puked up a stomach full of wood.
Like, I had been eating all these pieces of wood and sticks from around the yard, and then I was about to puke all over Christi’s bathroom floor, but she was a total bitch and threw me in the shower so I could puke on the tile…. and then I just puked up all that wood, which she couldn’t wash down the drain anyways, so she...
2 tags
A Note From Bindi Sawyer Lee
Bindi Sawyer Lee:
Hi everyone it is Bindi, I know all of you miss me, I miss you too, but all of you had to know I was in for the glamorous life, I have real big things ahead of me. After all I am the Chosen One. I really like it here, Yes I already have them both wrapped around my little finger, Duh- who thought I wouldn’t? They have really big fluffy couches, and so many toys, I really...
2 tags
Tap Tap Tap
Lucky:
I’m a dancer.
2 tags
BERLINIUM
Berlin:
Hi, I’m Berlin, I’m a dog, and I feel kinda sad…
Ummmm the other day, Christi took me to Steven’s house so I could say hi to Steven’s grandpa Bob, and sniff around the place. I miss Steven soo much, and so I went into his room and smelled everything. I even hopped up on the bed and squirmed around in the pillows! I stood on my hind legs and took a look at...
2 tags
Bananas
Rocco:
What up. Yah, I was gone for four days, and I know you want me to tell you all about where I was, but I’m not going to… especially not now, when I’m busy listenin to m.f. Thin Lizzy and making banana nut bread, biiitch.
Cutie #1
Mammoth:
Geez… it’s gonna be hard being the only cute kitty… Behemoth and Buscemi are probably gonna be real jealous of me. What if they gang up on me? Hopefully they will understand not to mess with me, since I just lost my twin.
Ohhhh!! …what’s cool is that Mom will probably be extra nice, since I’m the only cutie she has left! More milk for me!!
Hay...
2 tags
Bye Bye
Sawyer:
I’m going away, Mammoth… I’m sorry- I will miss you a lot!
2 tags
Wait... What
Mammoth:
Wh-where are you going, Sawyer??
1 tag
Chosen One
Sawyer:
Goodbye everybody! I am going away to live with new people… I hope it will be just as much fun at their house as it is at Christi’s. I hope they have a lot of fewd and watch a lot of Roseanne.
Oh! And I hope they have a camera, cuz I am oh so photogenic…
1 tag
The Life Pursuit
Behemoth:
I… I.. I love you.
3 tags
Hi- I'm a Star
Berlin:
Hi I’m Berlin, I’m a dog, and I’m awesome. Um, I’m like probably the coolest dog you’ll eveer meet and I’m a star too.. I have my own video on YouTube, where I’m like running around the dog park being awesome. I’ve heard people say Avery has a movie star face, but I’m like, the only real star here.
I’m staying at...
4 tags
WTF
Behemoth:
Yah, wtf Rocco… he’s like, on one of our favorite shows ever.
John Goodman’s the best.
2 tags
Watch Your Mouth
Sawyer:
Hey. Um, I like John Goodman.
5 tags
Seriously?
Rocco:
Seriously Henry? You really think you look like Christian Bale? Are you kidding me?
More like… more like..
John Goodman, biiitch.
3 tags
TERMINATOR 2
Henry:
OH YAH? …LOOK!
WHO’S TERMINATOR NOW, BITCH?!
1 tag
Hella Effin' Rude
Lucky:
Whatup. I been sick. Cara and I moved from our house and we’re looking for an apartment. While we’re looking, we have to stay with Mom and Dad and it’s like, so gay. Like… I been sick, so Rick and Cindy were hella effin’ rude and quarantined me! …Sooo effin’ retarded. And they put this medicine all over me, and it stank…
Like, I was so...
3 tags
Kitten Season
Mammoth and Buscemi:
Christi says we have to go away :( We don’t know why!?
We thought she loved us?! And out mom too!!? Guess not because, um, for some reason we have to leave them and all our friends here- its weird! Bitches! M-m-maaayybbeee, maybe you would love us??? We don’t know, but we are like, waay sad… we don’t want to leave! We promise we are good kitties, we...
5 tags
Baby Behemoth
Behemoth:
Hi guys, I’m Behemoth and I’m a kittttt-nnnnn..!
This is my momma, Charlotte- she just lays here and feeds us all day! And I’m like drinkin milk, all like: “WWWHHHAAZZZUUPPP?!”:
Christi says that she loves me and that I’m staying with her forever.. and I’m really happy because I love her so much because she pets me a lot, and I love Avery,...
2 tags
TERMINATIN'
Rocco:
OK- WHO AM I???
GUESS WHO I AM, BITCH…!
READY?!?!?!?!!!!!/?
YAH BITCH, THAT’S RIGHT—- I’M CHRISTIAN BALE!!
2 tags
3 tags
Question Everything
Avery:
What’s a Monday…?
…What’s a retard?
Um… why does my face always sting after Rocco swings his paw at me? I think he is waving, but it kinda hurts after he’s done and when other people wave at me it doesn’t feel like that…
What is a biiiitcchh?
Oh- um, what does Charlotte mean when she makes that grumbly noise and then runs after me...
3 tags
Up to My Neck in Paperwork
Lucky:
Mondays- I hate em.
4 tags
I Scared You, But Your Face Scared me More
Rocco:
RRRROOOOOOOOOWWWWWWWRRRRRRR!
This is what I did to Christi and Avery when they came home today, and they ran away so scared. Christi was like “Rocco, you’re scary!” and I was like, “Your FACE is scary, biiittch.” Then I bit her ankle and ran away because I still don’t want to hang out with her, especially when she keeps saying that she’s gonna...
3 tags
Party
Lucky:
Dang. Whaat happened last night? I’m like, so hungover. Quail.. where are you?
Cara… you better get me some effin tri-tip and some alka-seltzer before I puke all over this couch. And shut those blinds… the effin sun is in my eyes.
2 tags
Go Put That in Your Nest
Rocco:
Yah Bitch. I just wanted to let you know that I just caught five birds, and they were all babies, and they were all crying and retarded, and I bit all their faces off. What are you gonna do about it? If you wanna go put them in some stupid nest, their body parts are in the front yard under some bushes. Yah. I don’t even care… biitch.
2 tags
You're Welcome... Biiiiittchhh
Rocco:
I caught this stupid bird and brought it to Christi because I once thought she was a cool person. I wont make that mistake again. She came out the door and hit me with a glove. Then, like a true bitch, she took the bird away and put it in some stupid nest across the street. Not only that, but she grabbed me and put me inside, and now I am stuck in here.
Like, I’m sure I could...
6 tags
A Dream is a Wish your Heart Makes
Lucky:
Oh. Oh hay. Hi… whatup? I was just sitting here talking to Quail again. Yah… I like, was just telling Quail about the time in my life after my mom passed away from cancer. It was really hard for me, but there was some good that came out of it… after taking care of my mom, Genie, for so long, I was finally able to go back to school and pursue my dream of becoming an...
2 tags
IMA DOG!
Avery:
HI IMA DOG AND THIS IS MY FIRST POST EVER! I wasn’t invited to Rocco’s pool party, but then Christi said I could come no matter what Rocco said! I like sitting in the water, especially cuz when I get thirsty, I can get a drink real fast. I can swim too, and I learned that um, when you swim, you have to keep your head on top of the water, cuz if you put it under, all the water...
2 tags
Pool Party
Rocco:
Whatup, bittch. This is my pool party. No kittens or retards or dogs allowed. Bring your own tri-tip. I spent all day mowing the lawn and raking the leaves, and right about now, I’m about to chill with some bitches in bikinis.
Like, I would swim, because I’m not scared, but I just took a bath, and I’m not about to mess up my shiny coat with all that chlorine. So if you...
3 tags
Secrets
Lucky:
Whatup, whatup. I’m like, kinda busy, just talkin to my friend Quail. We just met Saturday, and we been bonding, and just talkin bout deep thangs. I told her bout my mom, and how I took care of her when she had cancer… so I been kinda sad… but Quail understands, and she has a lot of thangs to say too. She’s just telling me some secrets… shhh- we need our...
May 2009
7 posts
4 tags
Liars, Babies, and Biiitches
Rocco:
No. I. Did. Not. Give. Dorian. A. Massage. Um, he is a liar. The only massage I gave him was on his face, with my teeth. I tricked him into thinking I was being nice, and then I bit the eff out of his face, and he ran away crying like a baby. Then I turned to Avery, because she was looking at me all weird, and I said:
Do you WANT me to attack your face?
She’s like, such a baby....
1 tag
Luckstar
Lucky:
Um, obviously this harness wasn’t made for someone this muscular. Obviously it’s not meant for rippling doberman mixes like me. I mean, I know I have some weiner dog in me, but mostly I got my dad Bandit’s genes. Dats why I’m so strong and scary. Eff this stupid thang. Where’s dat food? I’m like, so hungry.